There is a darkness inside me deeper than the Grand Canyon,

it yearns

to be filled though almost nothing can.

Empty it remains, devoid of

colour.

I know it's not a phase, this is who I've become.

Fell for

everything, now nothing could make me stand.

Invested in it all, only to

feel so second-hand.

Used by everyone, like the Earth stripped of its

natural resources.

Blamed for all the heartbreak as though I am the

apocalypse's horsemen.

Break ups and divorces filed under my name,

though

all I really want is to feel the same.

My love is poison, the holy

grail of death.

My sadness, an ocean, you cannot measure its depth.

Each whispered word becomes another promise that can't be kept.

I just

want peace and happiness though my darkness will not permit it.

I am so

lonely, the most deserted places even have more visitors.

My heart is

stony, yet still brittle enough to easily break.

Harder and harder I search for a friend,

the quicker it becomes obvious that I was made to

want for nothing.

Darkness is what defines me now as I wade in my own

pool of gloom,

dreary as I write dear diary, right before I'm consumed

by fear.

My cries for help unattended, so I sit and wait in vain,

anxiety

overwhelms me as I let the darkness overpower me again.

Everything

turns to black, as though ebony can only prevail.

Help me help myself

and release the anchor weighing me down so that my ship can freely sail.