Broken by the memories that haunt my conscious state, I curse the Gods in misery for my dreaded fate. I tried to grow, and be positive, but this love has only transformed into hate, you were sadly the one that I had mistaken for my soul's true mate. I yearn to feel your hands wrapped up in my own, and crave to feel the softness of your lips that so often reminded me of home. I long to smell the scent, the fragrance of your own cologne, and still desire to see the beauty and majesty that line the streets of Rome. I want to travel around the world with you and taste all of its exotic foods, I need to relive and hear the melody of our joyous étude. I wish upon the stars up high that one day we will see, the canals in Venice and then take the train to Germany. I can still taste you on my tongue although your memory is quickly fading away, please come back and fill my world with colour again; take away the greys. I feel the coarse and rough remorse that stabs me, jagged like the rocks that line the shore. I smell the ashes, and remnants of the fire that once burned between us, extinguished forevermore. I taste the bitterness of losing you that stings my mouth like citrus fruit, it's acidity is not good to me as I finally see that we were just not meant to be. I see you with him and I silently seethe, knowing that he could never fill even one of my shoes. How naive of him to think that he is adored and not just simply being used, I have paid my dues, and thus refuse to return to substance abuse. You were just my muse, a toy whenever I needed to play. Mark my words, that on this very day, I will never return to your symphony of fire and your desolate decay. From now on I will protect my heart with my head, instead of running and embracing the false notion of love with open arms. I will use my five senses to guide me through isolated moments where I am crawling in the dark, no longer a passenger on this toxic love's sinking ship, I have finally, and fortunately found the will to disembark. I count my blessings, not my losses of which you are surely one; the emptiness subsides and my self-respect and dignity have finally triumphed and won. I heard my conscience crying out, pleading for me to come to my senses; I listened for the first time, rebuilt my walls and regained my defences.